Obedience is not the issue, is it?

I am currently reading a book called "Grace Based Parenting" and I am loving it. I am not very far in, but it is truly resonating with me so far. I realize that often I am more concerned about appropriate and obedient behavior from my children than I am concerned about showing them a glimpse of God's grace. I am aware of a need to reach their hearts, to get to the sin issues and address them but I do not want my children to think that in order to have my full approval, they have to obey by keeping all the rules, and doing the right things. As a child I thought sinning meant failing. I thought I was a major disappointment to God sometimes. Sinning is failing in a way, but God knows that a sinless standard is not something we can attain, and that was His plan (grace v. works) Also, my children are still being ruled by the "ruler of the kingdom of the air." I cannot expect righteous behavior to come naturally to them. I want my children to experience acceptance, forgiveness, love, purpose and hope through my interactions with them in order to give them a glimpse of a future relationship with the Lord of all creation. So this is where I am today. God help me, show me how to do this!